One

Who is that girl?
The other night, I was checking my email in bed, as I often do, right before falling asleep.  There was an add for the Yoga Journal Conference coming up in San Fransisco this coming January.  I nearly deleted it, without even opening it.  "I can't afford to go to that anyway this time," I thought.  But then, wistfully I just thought I'd entertain the idea.  So I opened it to check it out.  "That girl looks a lot like me," I thought.  "That girl has the same yoga op as me," I thought.  I tapped on the screen and got a closer look.  I screamed out loud.  "That IS me?!!"  It was a picture from last summer, when I attended only one day of the Conference in NYC.  My sister Heather and I went to the conference because our sister-in-law, Steffanie, had invited us out to visit, and attend.  All three of us enjoy teaching yoga classes, and it was a bonding experience in many ways. (Thank You Steff.)
I instantly started to send the picture out for friends and family to see.  I was so excited, it felt like Christmas for a squealy little girl.  I think partly I did this because I almost needed the affirmation from others that I wasn't imagining this.  Just a week prior, I had seen a  3 second clip of myself performing at the Timpanogos Storyteller's Festival here in Utah as a singer/songwriter.  On channel 5 I think it was... I had shared that with others as well.  Almost just as flamboyantly.

Thank You Heather, and Lisa
In the morning, when I woke up, I felt totally stupid.  I realized how self absorbed I had been, and now I was embarrassed that I didn't just keep it to myself, and a select few.  On top of that, I failed to recognize the fact that my sisters were in the photo as well.  How embarrassing!  As I attended our usual yoga class as a student with my sister Heather that morning, I felt exposed.  Our instructor opened the class talking about how we need to always think before we speak.  Oh, how appropriate.  I fell out of balance in many postures that day, and became easily distracted.  We worked on some difficult inversions near the end, and I simply could not perform under the imagined pressure I had created for myself.  I was way too attached to my molehill experience.  Heather, as my sister, was there for me.  She spotted me on the floor, and gave me valuable vocal help on things that could stabilize me.  After class, I asked Lisa, our teacher, if she would help me once more.  (After Savasana, you're definitely more relaxed.)  I was able to get into the pose and feel much more secure.  "You are strong", she said, but she also said I looked at her like I didn't believe her.  I nearly cried.  I couldn't tell another person about me.

Thank You Jason Crandall
This all got me thinking about ego.  This picture in fact was from a class we took from Jason Crandall.  Within the class, I learned some valuable things.  It was probably my favorite class I attended.  He spoke to us about our ego.  I remember him saying that we can't just check out our ego at the door, and expect to be free from it.  He said to work with it.  I noticed I was surprised by my own strength and ability in that class, and throughout the rest of the day in other classes as well.  It must have been all my adrenaline pumping from the excitement of being there.  I felt completely light, free, and capable.  Part of that, was I felt so much joy in being there.  I felt so much love for my sisters, and so much happiness in that there were so many surrounding me that loved yoga.  I listened intently to the teachers, trying to absorb it all.  My strength was obviously coming from not just me alone, but the unity in the classrooms.

Without Attachment   
"...giving me the opportunity to perform my prescribed duties in a disinterested way, and to use reason and discrimination to help maintain world order and make spiritual progress in this lifetime with no attachments to the fruits of my actions.  He whose heart gets purified through action without attachment obtains God-realization." ~ Dharma Mittra

In Dharma Mittra's book of 608 Asanas photographed by himself, it is said that "as a true yogi, he takes no credit for his acheivement, stressing instead the value of egolessness, or in yogic terms, "no I."  While he may insist that he did nothing to create the work, that the postures just flowed through him, we believe otherwise."

I have heard the analogy of tending to your projects, talents, goals, and such as if it were a garden.  Give it enough attention to thrive.  Give it water, sunshine, and allow it to flourish on it's own.  Without feeling attached to it.  These things do not define who we are.  When a plant in the garden withers, we will not wither, because we are not the plant itself.  However, never neglect the seed that can bring forth fruit.  Fruit to be shared with others.