Owen is Here

 

I planted an Amaryllis bulb before Thanksgiving with my boys. At the time I wondered if it would bloom when baby Owen arrived.  Sure enough, the week of my due date, it bloomed. I was sure he'd be here any day.  

Then a week went by, and I watched my beautiful Amaryllis wilt. Still no Owen, even though I was experiencing plenty of false labor.  I've always delivered my babies overdue.  Induction has usually been necessary. This time I was doing all I could to help myself go into labor on my own.  If I could do that, then I could have a natural birth. 

Even though the flower had died, I kept thinking of the image of its bloom.  It gave me a feeling if hope that what I was experiencing was just what was needed.  The bloom symbolized to me the beginnings of a change or transition taking place slowly in my body.  I faithfully practiced prenatal and birthing yoga each day and saw this visualization in my mind of a beautiful and peaceful birth.  Often, that was the only time I really felt all that peaceful about it.  Fears crept in, and I started to feel more anxious each day. Physically, I became ill, and it was hard to get better.  My boys hadn't been sick all winter, but we were all home with head-colds for a week.  Why now?  Yet I knew If I could get better in time, and get over these fears, then I could have a natural birth. 

I did get well in time, and as soon as I began recovering, the contractions came back. I was excited to have things moving along again.  But then, I started to worry that Connor and I were not going to be able to do this together.  I wanted to feel his love and support and completely trust him and my midwives.  If I could do that, I could have a natural birth.  

The day arrived.  I knew that if I could remember all the answers to my prayers, all the people who we're cheering us on, and all the blessings I had received I could do this. If I supported Connor as much as he did me, we could do this.  The confidence and peace that came was amazing. I knew this wasn't my own strength.  Heaven's help was there. 

Now, playing back in my mind the night Owen came into the world--I feel like we can do anything.  

We did well, and things couldn't have gone any better.  After a most pleasant and quick labor, I cried out in a way I didn't think a quiet person like me was capable of--but Owen came quietly. He was a water birth.  He was born without a cry; alert, and looking up into our eyes.  His spirit is so wise in such a tiny body.  

Recovery is something I can do. Nursing is something I can do.  I can raise three active boys. Because I'm not doing this alone.  Now I wonder what great things Owen will do. 

Soon to Deliver

Last Days of Pregnancy are Here

Retrospect~

  My first pregnancy and delivery was hard.  At the time I was even thinking it might not be possible for me to try and do it all again.  Now, I look back at that experience and I'm so grateful for the things I learned from it.  Retrospect is a great teacher, but even more so when we document it.  Keeping a journal of all that I went through helped me a great deal in my following pregnancies.  As I read through the past, it gives me a sense of accomplishment, and gratitude for where I am now.  I admire my old self, in that I was strong enough to get through hard times, and it was humbling.   I'm much less likely to complain about smaller discomforts I've experienced in latter pregnancies.  I have more empathy for those who are struggling to get through their own maternal experiences as well.  I don't really want to go through and list all the things that happened.  Dwelling on things, and digging up old suffering doesn't seem to do much good--but we never forget what happened.  It changes us for the better if we let it.  We all have our own personal path of both trials and great joy.

After going through some particularly challenging physical and emotional times in my life, (this time not related to pregnancy,) at one point I wrote sort of a "Rising of the Pheonix" type poem:

Emerge from the rubble

Strap on my wings

Step out of the fire

A bit singed by these things

Purified my perspective

It seemed so hard before

We'll all resurrect 

From the dust of this world  

We'll rise again, and again.  It's not just some magical transformation that happens to us only once.  Every time I think I have myself figured out, I have to submit to how much I don't.  I believe there is a life after this one, and eventually we will rise and shake off the dust of this world, but we'll never forget or regret what we had here.  We have the opportunity to grow and change into future gods and goddesses.  Our capacity is unmeasured.  Every time I birth a small infant who enters this world, I believe he came from another place I'll someday return to.  We'll all return there together.  

During those long nights when I was pregnant with my first son, I would read for comfort.  My faithful dog Toby always seemed to be there, curled up by my side.  One night, I read this scripture:

"For after much tribulation, 

as I have said unto you in a former commandment, 

cometh the blessing."  Doctrine and Covenants 103:12

Bringing my sons into the world has been that blessing.  Its a joy I can't describe to be a mother, even though I feel completely inadequate for the job every day.  In just two weeks or so, Connor and I will have three small boys growing up under our roof.  It's going to be celebratory!

For an Easier Pregnancy~ Much of this information comes from Dr. Christopher, master herbalist.  I've modified it to my own needs.

A Whole Food Prenatal- Less nausea, and more absorption when it comes from a food source supplement.  I personally like Rainbow Light brand

Fish Oil- Take up to 4,000mg daily if suffering from depression during baby's stages of brain and eye development.

Chlorophyll-Fights fatigue by helping with iron absorption for anemia, bringing more oxygen to the bloodstream, and helps keep the blood mildly detoxified, as well as the bowels more regular.

Wheat Germ Oil- A valuable source of vitamins E, and B6.  Excellent for skin conditions as it lubricates the tissues, and improves heart health.

Black Strap Molasses- Provides Iron, Calcium, and Magnesium, as well as B6.  Supports thyroid function and endocrine system balance.  Supports the nervous system. 

Probiotics- Food Sources such as kefir and other fermented foods ward off digestive discomforts, and prevent future colic in baby.  Also, supports immunity in a very safe way.

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea- Keeps Progesterone levels higher, which prevents miscarriage, nausea, emotional instability, insomnia, muscle tension, and headaches.  Tones the uterus, preparing it for delivery.  High is Magnesium, so therefore relaxes muscles, eases contractions and postpartum pains, and so much more.  Dr. Christopher recommends up to a quart a day.  I was drinking this much before pregnancy, so sometimes I even drink more than that, or use the capsules as well.

Other Herbal Teas to Rotate and Vary- Dandelion, Peppermint, Ginger, Nettle, Red Clover, Rooibos, Burdock Root.

Greens Powder including Kelp- This one is more specific to those who need a little help with a sluggish thyroid.  It's also a good source of quick energy, and veggies when it's just too hard to eat a salad.

Safe Immunity Boosters- Garlic, Elderberry, Vit. D, Vit. C (in smaller, infrequent doses), Zinc lozenges, Colostrum, Probiotics, Homeopathic remedies for colds and flu, Essential Oils, and Lemon Juice with a dash of Cayenne in water.

For Sciatica/Back Pain- YOGA (of course), Massage, Mineral Baths, Arnica, Peppermint Essential Oil, Magnesium, and Ice packs.  Also adjusting sleep position to the left side with pillows supporting between the legs.

My Own Personal Must-Haves- YOGA as often as possible, along with other forms of exercise.  Apple Cider Vinegar, Garlic, and Chlorophyll for Obstetric Cholestasis. Birthing Hypnosis Sessions.  Borage Oil for Post Delivery Belly Fat...

If these basic things are incorporated into an already healthy lifestyle, the results will have a ripple effect into every other discomfort you could experience.   I'm not saying that it will all just be a piece of cake, but the benefits are amazing.  Pregnancy doesn't have to mean becoming an invalid for nine months.  You can feel more like yourself, be more active, and have the resilience to get through the days that are inevitably going to be rough.   I believe that pregnancy, labor and delivery, nursing, and motherhood can all be mostly positive experiences.  I have my fears and worries, that creep up on me, but most of the time I've been looking forward with optimism in the days to come ahead! 

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The Art of Contentment

Cinna-Pomegranate "Rubies"   
Whenever I eat a pomegranate, I think to myself, "handle these beautiful rubies with firmness and gentleness at the same time--a good reminder for me how to handle my precious children also."
This was a delicious accidental discovery.  I had some residue from some essential oil on a plate, and ate my pomegranate on it.  

1 Drop Essential Oil of Cinnamon
1 Pomegranate

Wipe the cinnamon oil lightly with a paper towel on the inside of your single serving bowl-it's important that there is only a hint of cinnamon.  Don't drop the oil into the seeds themselves.  Place Pomegranate Seeds in the bowl, stir, and eat up..

Honey Holiday Wassail
This is a modified version of my mother's Christmas wassail she used to make.  I love the citrus juices in this recipe, and I can feel good about giving my kids a hot cup of Vitamin C and Antioxidants when they come in from the cold.  

1 1/2 Cups Honey
4 Cups Water
3 Cinnamon Sticks
1/2 tsp Ground Ginger
1/4 tsp Ground Allspice
1 1/2 tsp Whole Cloves
3 Cups Orange Juice
3/4 Cup Fresh Lemon Juice
5 Cups Apple Cider
1 Cup Pineapple Juice


On Contentment~

Sometimes I go without the things I want, or know I need, but can postpone.  It's like a game to see how long I can do without something.  I remember when I didn't have a rolling pin, but instead of buying one, I used a Nalgene water bottle for couple of years, until I finally realized how ridiculous that was!  Then, I went out to go buy one, and I'm sure in my self-deprivation, I decided to buy much more than just a rolling pin.  I learned then, and I'm still learning now that making myself feel poor and needy is not a very healthy mentality.  Deprivation leads to splurges.  That's why dieting has never worked very well for people.  Eventually, we lose our self control, and will power goes down the tubes, because we haven't allowed ourselves to enjoy life in moderation.

Real wealth is not financial increase.  It is our quality of life.  It is having the bounties of life.  These bounties may be having more time to spend with our families and friends, having good health, or gaining knowledge, skills, and talents.  A bounteous life is full of valuable experience, and time well spent.  In a religious sense, it is having truth, forgiveness, repentance, inner peace, and love.  These are the possessions to seek after. When I get thinking about it, I understand I have been so blessed to live such an abundant life.

True wealth is knowing that we have enough, and to take it further, it's knowing we are enough.  Finding contentment is a way to having a peace amidst the demands we are surrounded by.  Everywhere we look we are told that we need more than what we already have.  We are told that we will never amount to being as wealthy, beautiful, educated, or talented as others.  So echoing things I've said before--we either try to hard, or we just give up.  There is a balance in feeling content with who we are, and what we have, without going to the extreme of deprivation.  You deserve to become that person you want to be.  Just be more patient about it, and in the process it will creep up peacefully upon you and rest.

This Christmas, I wish you all the peace of contentment, and your families too.  


"Sometimes I need
only to stand
wherever I am
to be blessed.”
 ~Mary Oliver

Thanksgiving Pies

Pumpkin Ginger Coconut Cream Pie

This pie was made in an effort to make a pumpkin pie with less dairy in it so my little Liam could enjoy some dessert on Thanksgiving.  Since I’m always for having less dairy, and I love the taste of traditional pumpkin pie, this became a yummy replacement.  Coconut oil is the perfect thing to replace the shortening in most recipes, making a surprisingly nice flaky whole grain crust.

To make 2 pie crusts:

2 Cups Whole Wheat Pastry Flour

1 Tsp Real Salt

1 ½ Cups Coconut Oil

1 Egg

1/4 Cup Ice Cold Apple Juice

Place the apple juice in a cup in the freezer. While this is getting icy cold, combine the pastry flour and the salt in a mixing bowl.  Using a pastry cutter, mash the coconut oil into the flour mixture.

Take the apple juice out of the freezer, and crack the egg into the same cup.  Lightly whisk the egg in with a fork.   Blend in the apple juice and egg mixture 1 Tbs. at a time, kneading gently with hands until you can form 2 evenly sized balls of dough.  Wrap these in plastic wrap, place in fridge for ½ hour.  Place some wax paper on the counter with a little water underneath it so it will stick.  Roll out the dough on top of this, using a little flour to keep it from sticking to the roller.  When it is large enough to place into the pie tin, gently lift it away and press into the tin without stretching it too much.  Trim the outer uneven edges of the dough with a knife and flute the edges by pressing down with your thumb and knuckle of your forefinger around the outer edge.  This crust is left unbaked for the pumpkin pies or fruit pies, but if you need it to be a baked shell, for a cream pie, then you would prick the crust with a fork, and bake it at 425 for 10-12 minutes.

Pumpkin pie filling: (One Pie)

½ Cup Honey

¼ Cup Sucanat

½ Tsp. Real Salt

1 Tsp Ground Cinnamon

¼ Tsp Ground Cloves

½ Tsp Fresh Ground Ginger

2 Eggs

15 oz. Pure Pureed Pumpkin (I use canned)

12 oz. Pure Coconut Milk

Mix together the honey, sucanat, salt, cinnamon, cloves, and ginger in a mixing bowl.

Using an electric hand mixer, beat the eggs in a separate bowl until they are emulsified, but not stiff.  Stir the pumpkin into the eggs.  Add the pumpkin mixture to the honey and spice mixture.  Gradually add the coconut milk, continuing to mix thoroughly.   Pour batter into an unbaked pie crust shell. (Recipe above.)

Preheat the oven to 425.  Bake the pie at this temperature for the first 15 minutes.  Reduce the heat in the oven to 350.  Continue baking for an hour, or until a knife comes out clean and the pie looks golden on top.

Whipped Topping:

1 Can Coconut Milk, Chilled, and Cream Separated

2-3 Tbs. Ground Sucanat

1 Tsp Vanilla Extract

Open the can of chilled coconut milk and separate the cream from the top, placing it into a chilled bowl.  Grind the sucanat using a coffee grinder if you have one, or a mini-food processor will do.  beat the cream, sugar, and vanilla using an electric hand mixer until stiff.  Keep cold, and serve a dollop with your pumpkin pie.

My Mom always made pie crust cookies for us with the left-over trimmings when she made pies growing up.  My boys loved cutting them out, and sprinkling them with some cinnamon sugar,

Apple Streusel Pie Filling:

5 Cups Tart Apples, Peeled, and Sliced

1 Tbs. Lemon Juice

1/3 Cup Pure Real Maple Syrup

1 Tsp Arrowroot Powder mixed with 1Tbs. water

3 Tbs. Whole Wheat Pastry Flour

1 Tsp Cinnamon

½ Tsp Nutmeg

1 Tbs. Soft Butter

Peel and slice the apples, put them in a small bowl, and pour lemon juice over the top, and gently fold.   Pour the apples into an unbaked pie shell.  (Recipe Above.)  Mix together the rest of the ingredients, and pour over the top of the apples.  The butter will remain lumpy--it's alright.  Bake at 425 F for 15 min.  Put the streusel topping on at that point, and reduce the heat to 350 degrees.  Bake for another 40 minutes.  Serve warm, with some vanilla ice cream. 

Streusel Topping:  (Combine in a food processor, then crumble with your fingers over the top of the apple pie)

1/2 Cup Ground Sucanat

¾ Cup Oat Flour

1/3 Cup Butter 

Healthy Hauntings

Honey Pumpkin Mini-Muffins

These are so quick and easy, I usually make them as an afterthought to add something to a meal.  Moist, sweet, and seasonal.

1 1/2 Cups Whole White Wheat Flour

2 tsp Baking Powder

1/2 tsp Redmond Real Salt

1/2 tsp Ground Nutmeg

1/2 tsp Ground Allspice

1 Egg, Lightly Beaten

1/2 Cup Almond Milk

1/3 Cup Butter, Melted

1/3 Cup Honey

1/4 Cup Pumpkin Puree 

Butter for Basting, & Cinnamon for Sprinkling on Top

Combine flour, baking powder, salt, nutmeg, allspice in one bowl.

Combine the honey, pumpkin, egg, and almond milk in a larger bowl, beating lightly with a fork.

Add the melted butter gradually to this mixture.  Stir the dry ingredients into the wet gradually until it forms a batter.  Spoon into greased mini muffin tins, (makes 24,) then bake at 400 F for 12-14 minutes.  When they come out of the oven, lightly bast the tops with a little butter, and sprinkle with cinnamon.

Spooky Cider

Last year for Halloween, I put some dry ice into a pot of Apple Cider, and it was way easier and healthier than making root-beer.  I love using mulling spices in cider this time of year.  You can use left over mulled cider for this too.  The kids always have fun with the dry ice.  I think we have a new tradition!

Caprese Monsters
I can't take credit for these little crossed-eyed monsters with thier tongues sticking out.  Just google "Halloween Salads" and you'll be amazed at the creative things people have come up with!  I love caprese salad anyway, so I can eat a whole plate for lunch--easy.  We can't believe we still have some garden tomatoes and basil growing!

Spooky Baby and Spider Dip

And here's two more I found online...I don't know 

who to thank for this, but they are great ideas.  It's a 

7-layer bean dip I'm holding--and the sour cream makes

 a spider web in the middle.  So cute!  (Thanks Mom for the actual recipe.)

Also, my talented husband, Connor, painted this 

Tee-Shirt for me.  I may have to wear it after 

halloween I love it so much!  

No--I did not keep those wonder woman boots on  for long.  They killed me.  The boys were happy to

dress up our baby.  We are excited for his arrival in January!

Ebb and Flow

Brussels with Toasted Fennel and Lemon Dijon
I have a few versions of this recipe, subject to change.  My husband loves it when we add a little bacon to it.  It can be very rich even without the bacon, so you may want to omit the avocado if going this route.  The distinct flavor of the fennel and lemon really stands out on it's own.  I'm always amazed and pleased when my boys ask for seconds! 

1 lb. Brussels, Washed, and Halved, with Tough Ends Removed
1 Celery Stalk, Washed, and Sliced Thin
2 Tbs. Coconut Oil
3 Tbs. Pepitas, (Green Pumpkin Seed)
1 1/2 tsp Fennel Seed
1 Avocado, Pit Removed, Peeled, and Sliced

Sauce:
2 Tbs. Fresh Lemon Juice
4 Tbs. Grapeseed or Olive Oil
1/4 tsp Redmond Real Salt
1 tsp Dijon Mustard

Steam the brussel sprouts for 7 minutes, adding the celery for the last 2 minutes.  Warm the coconut oil enough to melt it into a medium size wok or skillet over medium heat.  Add the pumpkin and fennel seeds to the oil, and lightly toast them, constantly stirring until they just begin to brown a bit.  Add the steamed vegetables to the seeds and stir to coat with the oil.  Keep an eye on the brussels to make sure they do not overcook.  Give them a stir, or remove them from the heat if needed.  You want them to just lightly toast in the oil after they have been steamed.  While the Brussels are cooking, slice up the avocado, blend together the ingredients to make a lemon dijon sauce, and pour the sauce over the avocado into a bowl.  This is just to keep the avocado from browning.  Remove the brussels from the heat and pour the sauce over the top.  Toss to coat and serve warm. 

Ebb and Flow~

The cold weather is setting in, and the productivity of my garden has slowed down. I feel lucky to still have some vegetables growing, and we savor every last tomato we get.  Now I'm buying more store-bought produce, and starting to really crave those warmer meals.  Although it's sad to see the birds fly south, and the flowers wilting, I always love the colors of the fall leaves. They will make the soil more rich and fertile in the spring after a long winter's nap.  The days are shorter, and evening comes quickly as if to say, "Bundle up now, you should take a nap too."

In yoga practice, we move through vinyasas with intensity and then come back down to recover and restore the body at intervals.  Child's pose is one of my favorite places to come to during practice.  So often it seems like we are told we can come to child's pose anytime to breathe and rest, but then we choose not to, and keep pushing through.  Without the rest in between the work, we ultimately become too exhausted whether we realize it or not.  

Dependency on stimulants has increased rapidly over the last ten years. Everywhere you look there are energy drinks, caffeine pills, a pre-workout formulas that are shutting down our natural ability to recognize when it's time to keep working or playing, and when it's time to rest.  Young babies and children take regular naps--(hopefully, unless the parenting style doesn't allow it.) Then somewhere along the way we are taught to work longer, stay up later, to somehow "get ahead" but it's all an illusion.   

Adrenal fatigue leads to endocrine system problems, depression, anxiety, hormonal imbalance, lower immunity, and eventually the body will surrender to a crash.  So we take our sick days off from work, or finally become so fatigued that the body has forgotten how to sleep.  Then we are taking stimulants in the morning, and sleep aids at night.  The pace of our demands might make us feel like we don't have the choice, but we do. There are healthier ways of tuning into our natural ultradian rest phase during the day, and our circadian rhythms at night.  If we listen to these rhythms, we will be able to take short 10 minute cat naps, or just enough down time in between the things we have to do, that we will experience more energy and productivity in the long run.  

However, if we never challenge ourselves; if there is no resistance?  How dull life would be.  Learning how to discern those moments when we truly deserve a break, and those times we must push ourselves ahead is never ending.  There are times we need to do things we don't want to, even when it's inconvienient.  It's temping to get lazy or complacent in the name of feeling that we deserve a break too often.  Finding ways to enjoy ourselves within the work we do will help us not to feel like we always want to run away and take a vacation.  Flow is a steady increase, not a sudden flood.  We have the power to control the speed of the water that comes out of the tap. 

I tend to need more recovery time than most people. Sometimes I feel guilty for not being as resilient as others, but at least I'm listening to my own body. I'm like the tortoise who moves slow and steady--I'll cross the finish line too, just on my own time. Life is not a race. It's an endless journey in which we will have all the time we need.  If you take care of yourself, your expiration date extends.

Chillin' Children

This summer, I've had the privilege of teaching these little ones yoga in my home, and at the park. These are just a couple of memories my dear friend Iva caught on camera.

 It all started with teaching our neighborhood joy school children a yoga class at the end if the school year.  I was assigned to teach them the letter "Y."  So, we had a 30 min. yoga practice, colored the letter "Y," and sang a song about it.  Then we had healthy snacks starting with the word "Yummy." When it was finished, I was amazed at how well these young 3 & 4year-olds had done!  I didn't think they would have the attention span for it.   Honestly, I didn't think I'd have the patience for it--well, they proved me wrong.

Next, I was asked to come teach yoga one day for Aiden's kindergarten class.  His school teacher happened to be a student of mine, and was gracious enough to encourage the children and help them along.  Again, this classroom full of little ones ages 5-6 were astoundingly attentive, and it was an absolute blast. 

I began gathering some ideas and materials that could help me continue this for my boys.  I was not confident I could take on a large group, since I have so little experience with kids other than my own.  So the class was and still is small and very manageable.

We set up the class to have 30-40 minutes of yoga, followed by a story time and a snack. At first is was as if all the pent up energy and emotion (of my boys in particular) would never allow us any peace in the room.  I started to think maybe they were not going to be able to handle having "Mom as a Teacher."  Moving forward though, there were little glimpses here and there that would give me the patience to keep trying.  Then, my boys began to spontaneously show me yoga poses when we were on a walk, or at the store, or at Grandma's house.  The boys wanted to join me on my mat in the mornings when I was enjoying my own practice, so they would run to get another mat or towel. (Aiden rolled up his beach towel in his room and often got it out for yoga time.)  This was not entirely new except for that Liam was no longer climbing all over me, (as much,) but attempting to do things on his own

We moved the class to an outdoor setting at the park. It was beautiful and shady under the cottonwood trees, overlooking Utah Lake. The children would practice listening time.  As we sat still and unbelievably quiet for nearly a whole two minutes a peaceful place was created. If there were any outbursts, it just seemed to dissipate into the sky. The children were joyful, and willing to try new things. 

We loved little Isabel, Sophia, Krista, and others when they would join. By the end of the summer, friendships were made we never expected, and we had all learned together.  The seasons are changing, so I look forward to having a few more classes with the children at the park, and a few more times I can return to the dock for my own quiet yoga practice.  (Yes, I still practice on the docks near my home.)
Yoga alone, yoga with others, and yoga with children.  I love it all.