Real Progress

Ginger Cookie Peach Cream Pie

Crust:
1 3/4 Cups Ginger Cookies, Finely Ground (I like to use the Brand Back to Nature.  Their triple ginger cookies are perfect for this recipe, and you can use exactly the whole box.)
6 Tbs. Butter, Softened
Blend together in a food processor or high quality blender.  Press into a pie dish to create an even crust.  Bake at 375F for 7 minutes.  Let cool.

Cream Filling:
3 Cups Plain Greek God's Yogurt
2 tsp. Vanilla Extract
2 Tbs. Raw Local Honey
Using a hand mixer, combine and whip together in a mixing bowl.  Pour into the pie shell.  Freeze for about an hour, right before you want to serve it.

Peach Topping:
3 Fresh Peaches, Peeled and Sliced
1 tsp Sucanat
1/2 tsp Cinnamon, Ground
Gently fold the cinnamon and sucanat into the peaches until they are fully covered.  Remove the pie from the freezer, and top with the peaches right before serving.  If you're like me, you'll eat half the pie in one sitting, while watching your favorite television series.

"Slow Progress is Lasting Progress"
This is a quote from my favorite T.V. series, "White Collar."  Why do I love this show so much?  I seem to have this thing for characters who are supposed to be bad guys, but they are really good guys.  I love the movie "Bandits," for example.  Also "Time Bandits," and pretty much anything with a "Robin Hood" theme.  I guess I love the idea that someone can always change for the better, no matter how far gone they may seem.  Also, I like to think there is a shard of good in everyone, no matter how bad.  I know, it's idealistic. 

My own progress has been very slow.  I get impatient with it at times.  That, however, all depends on what you call "progress."   I'm so thankful to have kept journals and records.  I can look back and realize that things have actually progressed in the most important ways, at an almost imperceptible rate.  Spiritual growth.  Mental and emotional capacity. Improvement of character.  Improvement in skills.  Improvement in relationships.  Improvement in perspective.  Improvement in parenting.  These types of milestones are often unseen, even by ourselves. 

Recently I was digging through some of my old things for no apparent reason.  I have stacks of journals to be embarrassed about.  They are full of old thoughts, and old boyfriends, and things that reveal my trivial problems when I was younger.  I pulled out an entire journal about when I met my husband, and became engaged, and then got married.  I was relieved, because I didn't think I had written that much about it at the time.  (Being so infatuated with the whole idea of getting married could pull you away from actually recording anything about that important event.)  Then I looked at the next journal.  It was all about my children being born, the places we had lived and moved, and all of the happenings of my life up until about 3 years ago.  Again, I had so much joy knowing I hadn't forgotten to write it all down.  Since then, I've been writing down the wonderful and humorous things my children say, and teach me, in their own personal journals.  I'll give them that record when they leave my nest.  I didn't realize I had done so much record keeping!  How rewarding that was to know I had those writings.  I know someday I'll look back at this blog and laugh at myself then too.  But I'm so glad I can laugh about it, and see how far I've come. 

There is an analogy about climbing a mountain you've probably heard before:  That is, we should not look where we still have yet to plod upward, but we should look back and see how much distance we have traveled.  I can relate to this analogy in a very real way.  I hiked King's Peak in a backpacking group in college.  The hike was harder than I thought it would be, mostly because of the cold rain, a heavy pack, and bad shoes.  It took us about a week to enjoy this trip, and for the most part, I have very fond memories of it.  (Hopefully I wrote all that down somewhere.)  The most prominent memory I have though, was that we had nearly reached the top of the peak.  A storm was coming in.  There were only four of us in the group who decided to go ahead and try to make it to the top.  I wasn't going to come all that way, and then turn around and go home without seeing the top of the peak!  We were scrambling up the shale rock as fast as we could, but my backpacking instructor ordered us to turn around and head back to camp.  Everyone paused.  We were all deciding if we should be obedient.  I chose to obey, probably because of knowing from previous experience that I could likely blow off the mountain in a storm like that, exposed on the top of a peak.  I went back to my tent with the intention of climbing it again in the morning, and then with the intention of going back the next summer to climb it again, and then still today, never making it back to that peak.  I don't regret it though.  I look at that experience as a huge accomplishment. I climbed that mountain.  Almost to the top.  That's pretty awesome. 

"...that by small and simple thing are great things brought to pass;and small means in many instances doth confound the wise."~Alma 37:6

One

Who is that girl?
The other night, I was checking my email in bed, as I often do, right before falling asleep.  There was an add for the Yoga Journal Conference coming up in San Fransisco this coming January.  I nearly deleted it, without even opening it.  "I can't afford to go to that anyway this time," I thought.  But then, wistfully I just thought I'd entertain the idea.  So I opened it to check it out.  "That girl looks a lot like me," I thought.  "That girl has the same yoga op as me," I thought.  I tapped on the screen and got a closer look.  I screamed out loud.  "That IS me?!!"  It was a picture from last summer, when I attended only one day of the Conference in NYC.  My sister Heather and I went to the conference because our sister-in-law, Steffanie, had invited us out to visit, and attend.  All three of us enjoy teaching yoga classes, and it was a bonding experience in many ways. (Thank You Steff.)
I instantly started to send the picture out for friends and family to see.  I was so excited, it felt like Christmas for a squealy little girl.  I think partly I did this because I almost needed the affirmation from others that I wasn't imagining this.  Just a week prior, I had seen a  3 second clip of myself performing at the Timpanogos Storyteller's Festival here in Utah as a singer/songwriter.  On channel 5 I think it was... I had shared that with others as well.  Almost just as flamboyantly.

Thank You Heather, and Lisa
In the morning, when I woke up, I felt totally stupid.  I realized how self absorbed I had been, and now I was embarrassed that I didn't just keep it to myself, and a select few.  On top of that, I failed to recognize the fact that my sisters were in the photo as well.  How embarrassing!  As I attended our usual yoga class as a student with my sister Heather that morning, I felt exposed.  Our instructor opened the class talking about how we need to always think before we speak.  Oh, how appropriate.  I fell out of balance in many postures that day, and became easily distracted.  We worked on some difficult inversions near the end, and I simply could not perform under the imagined pressure I had created for myself.  I was way too attached to my molehill experience.  Heather, as my sister, was there for me.  She spotted me on the floor, and gave me valuable vocal help on things that could stabilize me.  After class, I asked Lisa, our teacher, if she would help me once more.  (After Savasana, you're definitely more relaxed.)  I was able to get into the pose and feel much more secure.  "You are strong", she said, but she also said I looked at her like I didn't believe her.  I nearly cried.  I couldn't tell another person about me.

Thank You Jason Crandall
This all got me thinking about ego.  This picture in fact was from a class we took from Jason Crandall.  Within the class, I learned some valuable things.  It was probably my favorite class I attended.  He spoke to us about our ego.  I remember him saying that we can't just check out our ego at the door, and expect to be free from it.  He said to work with it.  I noticed I was surprised by my own strength and ability in that class, and throughout the rest of the day in other classes as well.  It must have been all my adrenaline pumping from the excitement of being there.  I felt completely light, free, and capable.  Part of that, was I felt so much joy in being there.  I felt so much love for my sisters, and so much happiness in that there were so many surrounding me that loved yoga.  I listened intently to the teachers, trying to absorb it all.  My strength was obviously coming from not just me alone, but the unity in the classrooms.

Without Attachment   
"...giving me the opportunity to perform my prescribed duties in a disinterested way, and to use reason and discrimination to help maintain world order and make spiritual progress in this lifetime with no attachments to the fruits of my actions.  He whose heart gets purified through action without attachment obtains God-realization." ~ Dharma Mittra

In Dharma Mittra's book of 608 Asanas photographed by himself, it is said that "as a true yogi, he takes no credit for his acheivement, stressing instead the value of egolessness, or in yogic terms, "no I."  While he may insist that he did nothing to create the work, that the postures just flowed through him, we believe otherwise."

I have heard the analogy of tending to your projects, talents, goals, and such as if it were a garden.  Give it enough attention to thrive.  Give it water, sunshine, and allow it to flourish on it's own.  Without feeling attached to it.  These things do not define who we are.  When a plant in the garden withers, we will not wither, because we are not the plant itself.  However, never neglect the seed that can bring forth fruit.  Fruit to be shared with others.

Affordability--Let's be Practical

Summer Watermelon Refresher

The ingredients in this came about from when my son had a UTI.  He drank this homemade concoction almost every morning for about a week.  Along with some herbal treatment, the infection was gone within 8-9 days!  So, thanks to Aiden, we have another tasty recipe.  This is great when you have some leftover cut up watermelon that needs to be used.  Our other favorite thing to do with our leftover bowl of watermelon is to go out on the front porch together with some forks and eat out of the bowl together, watching the people go by.

1 Cup Cranberry Juice

3 Cups Fresh Watermelon

1 Cup Plain Yogurt

1 Scoop Vanilla Rice Protein (Sun Warrior)

1 Cup Spinach

½ Cup Fresh Parsley, Stems Removed

1 Frozen Banana

2 Cups Frozen Blueberries

In a blender, combine the cranberry juice, watermelon, yogurt, and protein powder.  Then add the spinach and parsley, and blend well.  Add the banana and blueberries at the end, blending well one last time.  Sip through a straw as you sit out on the back porch.  

Looking Back~

When Connor and I had been married for a short first year, we took off to live in Georgia.  It was exciting to move out there far away from the familiarity of our home in Utah.  We were financially struggling to become independent, and learn to make a living on our own in a new place.  We were both up for the challenge, and remained somewhat positive, even when our income ran low.  I remember when I had one cardboard box of food to draw from to make our meals. (We had been moving place to place, and so I kept some things packed.)  I made a lot of bread, and oatmeal.  I shopped at the dollar store for food items and bought the occasional fish, or produce.  I remember we ate on some plastic pink plates from the dollar store and washed them after each meal.  Connor had good cause to say, "You could have at least picked a better color!"

Looking back at that experience now makes me so grateful for what I have in my kitchen today, let alone my other blessings combined.  Sometimes I feel a little guilty indulging in buying things like fresh berries at the market, or wild caught fish, or raw local honey.  I'm discovering though, that there are ways to make this affordable, if you are willing to make it a priority, and a way of life.  If you'll notice, the things I just listed to buy, are also things we can produce ourselves, with some added effort.  You don't necessarily have to buy fish, when you can catch it.  You can grow berries, fruits, veggies, and herbs.  If you're really ambitious, you can own your own bees.  In our culture of convenience, the work that used to go into raising the food for our own families has changed drastically.  More and more I realize, that if we work to save money, we spend just as much time working to provide our own food as we would outside the home to earn an extra paycheck.  This is why most people opt out.   However, the difference is in living a higher quality of life.  I have often had to work outside the home just enough to help out with our bills, but sometimes I wonder if I was brave enough to just let go of my employment that I would have more time to be the homemaker I want to be.  This is something I've balanced for the last ten years, and so I do as much as I am able.  I don't have a complete garden right now, but I do have some herbs, and a tomato plant.  I grow sprouts indoors, and experiment with kefir grains, wheatgrass, aloe plants, and other things that provide nutrition with a little effort.  I now show gratitude and celebrate what I have in terms of health, and resources by taking care of my family, myself, and making delicious healthy food!

Tips to Help Save a Buck:

-Always remove something you can live without from your shopping cart before you go check out.

-Buy your fruits and veggies in their whole form, not pre-cut, or pre-prepared.

-Stick to your budget, and limit the time you spend in stores.

-Scrap the coupons, and just buy what you know you need.  This is a bold statement in these times, but honestly, give it a try.  Only use coupons for things you were planning on buying anyway, not for things that draw your attention.  I love grocery stores that will give you coupons based off of what you normally tend to buy.  From a psychological perspective, notice how much more frequently we enter the store just to buy one thing, that ends up being twenty, just because you had a coupon that needed to be used by a certain date.    You'd be surprised how much more you can spend thinking that you are saving something!  (Also, you'll have more time to cook from scratch, or weed your garden, instead of clipping adds.)

- Buy one less than you think you need.  For example, if I think I need 8 lemons to make lemonade, maybe I only need 7.  Sounds silly, but it adds up. 

-Try to limit buying in bulk to only one time per month.

-Cut out convenience foods, & extra snack foods.  For example, when we are in the store and my kids want to buy cookies, I'll tell them we can make our own later.

-Keep well stocked on items that will help you to cook more often from scratch.  Before the holidays, I gradually make sure I have nuts, seeds, flours, and herbs and spices on hand.  This is so I can be prepared to make baked goods, and party foods.

- Make a list, but don't feel obligated to buy everything on it.

-I read recently in a magazine article that we can optimize our produce dollars by following Aggregate Nutrient Density Index ratings for Produce by USDA cost per edible cup.  (Watermelon happens to be number one on the list for fruits.  Yay for today's recipe!)

-Sometimes organic is actually cheaper.  Pay attention to prices in the store.  If an organic apple costs the same as a pesticide ridden one, buy the organic of course!  If not, just wash your produce well, or stick to buying a selective amount of organic items from the "dirty dozen" list.  (You can internet search that one.)

-If you can make it, don't buy it.  There was a time I made huge batches of homemade frozen burritos to send with Connor for his lunch at work.  He was so good to not complain. 

-Eat your leftovers. Try not to waste food.  Again, this helps us cut back on buying fast food, when we are willing to bring a lunch from home.

-Don't overeat.  Eat as much as you need, and be satisfied.  Then there will be more for tomorrow!

- Set up monthly meal plans so that you know what you want to buy in advance.  I'll often plan on making three or four different recipes with similar types of ingredients, so that I know it won't go to waste.  This way I can be flexible about what I want to make on a daily basis, and I don't feel rushed to use things up too fast.

-If your produce starts to go bad, freeze it.  We use a lot of frozen fruits and veggies in our smoothies.  I'll cut up veggies and freeze them for later use in a skillet.  This way, you can buy more fresh, and less frozen. 

-If a recipe requires that you make a sauce, double it, and freeze the other half.  This will help with convenience as well.

-Learn how to take care of little discomforts the natural way, and eat more healthy.  You'll have less expensive trips to the doctor, and dentist.  You won't have to buy much from the pharmacy either.

-Have some meatless meals.  Beans and rice will go a long way.

-Suck it up and eat things that go wrong.  Sometimes, my meal doesn't turn out as well as I would have liked, but we'll eat it anyway.  This just motivates me to make it better the next time.

-Buy some of your health food items and supplements online!  Vitacost.com gives you free shipping when you spend $50.  

-I'm sure you can think of more ways to save money, and be more willing to put in some effort...

A Tomato is a Fruit, and Sometimes a Veggie

Tart Tomato Raspberry Salad: Who would have ever guessed that this combination of things from the garden could taste so divine? Tomatoes, Raspberries, and Basil, are all coming on in abundance at the end of the summer.  This is light, easy, and just as appealing to your eyes as it is to your taste buds.

4 Fresh Sliced Garden Tomatoes

1 Cup Fresh Raspberries

½ Packet Sweet Leaf Stevia

2 Tbs. Fresh Basil, Cut into Thin Strips

2 Tbs. Grated Mozzarella Cheese

In a small sauce pan, over medium heat, mix the raspberries and stevia using a fork to make a raspberry sauce.  Place fresh sliced tomato rounds on a platter.  Pour the raspberries over the top.  Sprinkle with the basil, then the cheese.  Serve cold, or at room temperature.  

Keeping Track Lightly 

Life is busy.  It can be difficult to keep track of what you've been consuming throughout the day.  There are days it's hard to remember what I had for breakfast, or if I even had breakfast...although, of course, I try to never skip the first meal of the day.  In using the Food Modification Guide, and the Modified Food Pyramid, (found in my June 11th, and August 4th 2012 blog posts,) I've developed a simple tally system to help with keeping track.  If you sit down to a meal and think, "What have I already had today?"  Sometimes it helps to make a quick note on paper, or in your mind about what might be lacking.  For example,  I'm hungry.  The kids are hungry.  I don't have a clue what to make for lunch.  "What did we have for breakfast?"  A smoothie, containing two veggies, and three fruits, yogurt, and protein powder.  We also had some whole grain toast with almond butter on it.  The tally system would look something like this:

Veggies:1

Fruit: 2

Whole Grains: 1

Dairy, (this includes dairy substitutes): 1

Protein: 1

Sugars: 0

Notice that I've been somewhat loose about serving size per person.  It's just a rough estimate of how many types of foods I've had that day.  No counting calories, or weighing exact portions.  Really this is just a way to ensure you do indeed get the variety you need in your diet.  By the end of the day, it becomes very easy to see what foods you could use a little more of.  Over time choosing what you need over what you might want becomes easy--because you will begin to want what you need.  Decisions of what to eat next are simplified greatly.  Sometimes my 6 year old son will get out grapes, applesauce, juice, and some oranges to eat for lunch and I'll just explain, "We really had a lot of fruit already in our smoothie this morning.  Don't you think we should have some protein?  Maybe a sandwich would be good, would you like that?"   At times it's a compromise, so we might end up having a sandwich and some grapes on the side.

So, is a tomato a fruit, or a vegetable? It just depends on what I want it to be!  If I need to up the tally marks in my vegetable category, it's a veggie.  If I need it to be a fruit, it is.  Sometimes, it's both.  Isn't that liberating?

Staying on Track

My father has always been full of great analogies.  He has been a great teacher to me and my family, and many others in using simple ideas that stick in your mind like glue.  He is an avid mountain biker, and often while on the trail, (and off the trail,) he would remind us that we want to look where we are going.  Look where you want to go, not at the obstacles that are in your way.  If you are on a single track, riding fast downhill, and there is a rock you would prefer not to hit, don't look at it.  Keep your eyes on the track. 

This is a simple visual analogy symbolizing the focus we must have on the things we want in life, not those we are trying to avoid.

During yoga class, my students and I will often remind ourselves of this same principle on the mat.  Jumping lightly from Down Dog-(Adho Mukha Svanasana) to the top of the mat, I'll say, "Remember, look where you are going!"  It all comes together through mid-line.  Finding a focal point on the floor within a standing balance, the gaze travels slowly upward to a full residing drishti, where gradually we move upward, looking where we want to go. Balance is achieved.

Modification is Key

Skillet Tomato Asparagus Chicken with Goat Cheese

This is best served with a side of whole grain pasta, or fluffy brown rice.  I always add a little olive oil or butter to my brown rice while it's cooking. 2 parts water to 1 part rice.  It usually takes about 45 min to prepare nice soft brown rice.  I love to add a little of good quality cheese to a meal as an accent, rather than to take a lower quality cheese and make a meal out of it.  Dairy products are one of those things to be used more lightly, and the higher quality cheeses are usually healthier too.  I can afford that once in a while!  Again, use meats and cheeses that are hormone and nitrate free if possible.
 
4-6 Strips of Turkey Bacon, or Pork Bacon, De-fatted
3 Cloves of Garlic, Minced
8 Chicken Tenderloins
1 Bundle of Asparagus, Woody Ends Removed
4 Roma Tomatoes, Thickly Sliced, then Halved
1Tbs. Fresh Lemon Juice
3 Tbs. Fresh Basil, Thinly Sliced
Redmond Real Salt and Ground Black Pepper, to Taste
1-2 oz. Soft Goat Cheese, Sliced

Over medium heat, in a large skillet, spread out the minced garlic in the bottom of the pan.  Layer the strips of bacon over the garlic.  Cook for about 2 minutes, then flip the bacon over.  Place the chicken tenders over the top of the bacon.  Allow the meat to cook for another 3-4 minutes, then flip the chicken over so the bacon ends up on top.  Make sure the bacon gets fully cooked.  Spread out the asparagus over the top of the chicken, Add the tomatoes over the  top of the asparagus.  Cover the skillet and cook for about 4 minutes.  If things start to stick to the pan, or brown too much, add a little water to steam the ingredients (rather than create carcinogens by overcooking.)  We do love the taste of "browning" meats, but it's really not the healthy way to cook our fats.  Next, add the basil, salt, and pepper, and a splash of olive oil.  It's great to add these healthy fats after the food has been removed from the heat.    The basil will wilt with the heat as you take the skillet off the stove to serve at the table.  Slice fresh goat cheese over the top, or serve the cheese as a side on individual plates.  Savor the flavors.

Modifications are Key~

Most of my recipes are simply adaptations of family favorites, or my own favorites, modified to accommodate nutritional needs.  There are just some foods that I simply can't live without!  Change just a few things, and many times, a meal evolves into something beautifully different.  Other times, it would seem a sin to change one of my mother's already amazingly delicious recipes, so I'll leave it like it is.  I'm not really looking to create totally new ideas.  There are plenty of recipes out there, and they just seem to be getting increasingly more complicated and expensive, or on the other hand, so simple and easy that they come out of a box, or a can.  I can thank my mother for having a garden, and cooking from scratch.  I honestly didn't even know what a "box cake" was until I got married!  I was blessed.  (And yet, I just bought a box cake as a back up for my son's birthday tomorrow just in case my cake from scratch doesn't turn out...)   So, with that said, you'll probably begin to notice certain ingredients I love to use frequently in the place of others.  I don't need to keep that a secret, because it's useful information. If you'll refer back to my modified food pyramid, (found in my June 11th 2012 blog post,) you will see what foods I'm trying to have less of, and which foods I'm trying to get more of.  My recipes are a collection of the modifications I have wanted to write down so that I don't forget the changes I made.  I look forward to having these as a personal future reference, but somehow I think there will always be something new!

Modification Guide      
Just as we use modifications during yoga practice to cater to our individual needs, we can modify the foods we consume as well.  The idea is simple.  Real food is always better than fake food.  Variety is what will not only give you more nutrition, but you will avoid food allergies, and your taste buds will never get bored!

Be Humble, Be Confident

In the moment when one realizes the greatness of their own potential abilities, over-confidence can give way to a fall.  However, if one is to hesitant, the likelihood of achieving that potential diminishes.  In this, there is balance.

For some, it comes easy to be confident.  These types of people thrive on letting themselves shine.  The challenge is not to become overbearing.  For others, humility is a strength, but building the certainty that their light is worth sharing is the challenge.

There have been times when I am within my yoga practice, that a balancing posture is achieved even for a brief moment, and I back off suddenly because of the fear of falling.  Other times when I think, "Wow, I'm pretty awesome..."  and then I reach beyond my capacity and I do indeed fall.  Also, as a performing singer/songwriter at times, I can guarantee that if I become distracted by thoughts of how I'm doing as a performer, mistakes happen.  There must be a lift to balance, and there must be gravity to press you down.  The kind of focus that it takes to maintain a balancing posture brings the mind into a constant state of shifting from humility and confidence.

Even as I lay in Savasana on the floor, eyes closed, breathing, my hands open on the floor in a gesture of giving and receiving.  I visualize being less vulnerable on the inside, and more penetrable on the outside.  Allowing oneself to shine is a way to give and receive at he same time.  We have gifts.  They are meant to be treated as such.  The gifts I have been given are given to me, and I am to share them.  When you find that place where love of yourself, and love of others come together, it's easy to shine. 

"...for perfect love casteth out all fear" ~Moroni 8:16


Imagine a playground teeter-totter.  One one side, is Humility.  On the other side, Confidence.  In the middle, Faith.  Underneath, a three-sided triangle labeled Self, Others, and Your Maker--who is your God.  Imagine how children seem to effortlessly embrace these attributes, and balance them with the help of those they Love.  In truth, having a quiet confidence, or assurance, is often called having Faith.  Trusting that you are not on your own, and the light that you give to others is not entirely your own.

I've Never Had a Favorite Color

Colorful Quinoa Salad:  There is something about color that makes food taste better, don’t you agree? I believe we crave certain colors when we need certain nutrients.  The Parsley in this recipe is crucial to the flavor, so as the garlic does not overpower everything else.

2 Cups Water

1 Cup Rinsed Quinoa (any variety of color)

2 Roma Tomatoes, Diced

1/4 Cup Red Onion, Chopped

1/4 Cup Fresh Parsley, Chopped

2 Tbs. Hemp Seeds 

1/4-1/2 Cup Crumbled Feta Cheese

1 Avocado Peeled, Cubed, and Marinated in a 

bit of Lime Juice and Redmond Real Salt

                                                               

Dressing 

1/3 Cup Olive Oi

1-2 Garlic Cloves, Minced

2 Tbs. Lime Juice

Redmond Real Salt and Black Pepper to taste

Bring the water to a boil.  Add the Quinoa and lower the heat to simmer, covered, until water is absorbed.  This should take 15-20 min…waiting while you chop up the veggies, and prepare the dressing.  Take the quinoa off the stove and rinse in a fine sieve colander with cold water.  Combine all ingredients in your favorite serving bowl, excluding the avocado. Chill for about 2 hours. Add the Avocado.  Serve.  Smile.

Love Your Colors
One of the best compliments I ever received was from a friend as she was soon to move to another state and say our goodbyes.  She told me that I was one of the most balanced people she knew.  This took me back, because I had always viewed this as a weakness, not a strength.  When there are several interests, hobbies, passions, and desires, it is very difficult to achieve anything of much visible substance.  It makes you a very well-rounded person, but not the most accomplished.  I struggled to decide what I was to choose to do with my life.  People here, and there, tell you to do, or be, this, or that, but all I really wanted was to do what I loved, for the sake of loving what I do.  My friend saw this as an attribute.
We are brought up to choose one path, one place to focus our efforts.  I felt pressure in college because I had too many things I loved, and couldn't do them all.  I started with a ballet scholarship, moved on to pursue recreational therapy, spent lots of time in the earth science department, loved chemistry, loved botany, and herbology. I appreciated the visual arts, as well as the performing arts, so therefore sang in choirs, took ceramics, painting, and learned the guitar.  I attended rock climbing, kayaking, and backpacking classes and excursions.  I was an English major for a time, until I had to discontinue because of a parasite I got visiting in Puerto Rico.  Why was I in Puerto Rico? There was a family that I had been working as a volunteer with their daughter, Nesta, who had mild autism.  I joined them for their family Christmas vacation so that therapy could continue during the holidays.  Nesta taught me more than I ever could teach her.  This developed into a desire to help children with autism as a music therapist.  I went back to school yet again, where this idea evolved into creating my own major--something that I'm very pleased that some schools are doing now-days.  I combined studies in psychology, music, and writing.  After our second child, I gave way to the love of motherhood and decided there was simply no need to go back to school for the time being.  I had learned so much.  Yet it felt like so little.
Whenever I focused in on something in particular, there would be progress.  But I am happiest when I choose to flow freely from one love to the next.  I love all my colors.  My mother told me that an Orchid flower at one time gives it's energies to the leaves, ands at another time, puts forth effort to the flowers.  I decided I'm very much like an orchid.  However, it's probably good I didn't pursue being a botanist-- I unintentionally kill most of my plants.

 When I was a ballerina, there was a lot of pressure there as well.  Realistically, being a great dancer takes a huge amount of discipline, and commitment.  Maybe that's why when I finally moved on, I arrived starving to the bountiful smorgasbord of college curriculum.  Growing up a bit since then, I hope not to lose the passion for learning, but I also hope to be more focused. 

"Sometimes, we make an intentional choice to lead out-of-balance lives in order to pursue a particular passion or goal." ~Caroline Adams Miller, lecturer in positive psychology, describing the intense training of Micheal Phelps, Olympic Athlete.

This quote was in a magazine I found laid open on the counter one day at work.  This particular day, like many others, the feelings of being imbalanced were mounting.  I had been working on writing my book for several months.  Choosing to focus on the recipes seemed the most practical way to proceed, because cooking is relaxing, and I want to feed my family anyway.  Somehow it seemed important to communicate to people my true passion--having balance in life.  But how could that be done when it felt like hypocrisy for me to be spending hours on end in the kitchen? Sometimes to the point of ignoring other responsibilities?  Sometimes, it didn't even feel relaxing anymore as I was working towards my goal.  Like the Orchid, I was paying a lot of attention to my leaves, but dearly beginning to miss my flowers.  This quote must have been heaven sent, because my guilt was removed.  It became a conscious choice and a labor of love.

Practicing Ashtanga Vinyasa Flow has given me so much creative freedom.  It feels like spontaneous choreography.  There are so many asanas to be combined in so many beautiful ways.  Flowing from one posture freely to the next.  Breathing in conjunction to the constant movement.  With the breath, there is movement even in stillness.  Moving away from feeling too predictable, but the flow is familiar, like a song your not quite sure if you've heard before, or it's newly born.  There are endless colors.  Combinations of people, ideas, flavors, are all there for you at the bountiful smorgasbord.  What will you have today?